if you read this you may win a million dollars
by teenageFBI
Summary: silly x-files story, we think it's funny... Its real title is 'Drake the dragon in the land of weird'


*It won't help you win a million dollars, but it won't stop you either  
  
Drake the dragon in the land of weird  
  
Drake was a superstitious dragon. He was also a very bored one. So, in an attempt to entertain himself, he would often try to send people crazy. His last victim was in a padded cell mumbling to himself about beet root, so it was time to find a new victim.   
  
So drake went out to his favorite café, to watch people. Many people passed but none were interesting enough. He was just about to call it quits when two mildly interesting people, a man and a women, walked into the café and sat down at the table next to him. The man and the woman smartly dressed in business suits and looking rather official ordered a short black and an iced tea and then began talking.  
  
"I'm telling you, it's gotta be the loch-ness" He said to the woman.  
  
"Sure, Mulder. It's the loch ness." Said the woman.  
  
So his name was Mulder, Drake thought to himself.  
  
M: "Awwww, c'mon Scully, how often am I wrong?"  
  
And hers was Scully. Perfect target.  
  
S: "Often enough, Mulder."  
  
M: "I told you old nessie would be back, I told you we were good friends, I brought her cake."  
  
S: (raising her eyebrows) "Cake?"  
  
M: (nodding slightly) "She's got a sweet tooth."  
  
And he knows nessie?  
  
S: "The possibility that there is a giant, dinosaur/monster/extraterrestrial relative living in a lake in Scotland is just out credited. I mean... someone would have found it by now and exposed it to the world. You are being irrational and irrisponsible."  
  
Ah, a skeptic, dandy.  
  
M: "Yeah yeah, what about my theory?"  
  
S: "That this huge dinosaur extraterrestrial specimen has come to D.C for a holiday? It's full of holes, Mulder. Not just normal holes, but huge black hole that suck the rest of the theory in."  
  
The waiter approached Drake's table. Seeing that he was a bloody great big dragon he screamed and ran.   
  
Mulder and Scully, hearing the waiter turned to see what the commotion was about.  
  
S: (Seeing Drake) "Oh... My... God..."  
  
M: (Seeing Drake) "What? Oh, the dragon thing. You can see him too?"  
  
S: (Stunned) "yeah."  
  
M: "Can you see the acrobat-gymnast people making a human pyramid over there?"  
  
S: (Glances at people practicing their routine for a circus) "Yeah." (Looks back at drake).  
  
M: "And the sailors over there singing 'In the Navy' and performing an in depth well choriogrophered dance routine?"  
  
S: "Yeah." (Looks back at drake)  
  
M: "And the ninjas fighting with interestingly shaped swords over there?'  
  
S: "Yeah." (Looks back at Drake).  
  
M: "And I suppose you can see the giant mutated purple turkey singing 'New York, New York' over there."  
  
S: (looking around, puzzled, looks back at Mulder) "No..."  
  
M: (looking caught out) "oh... um... just testing you. cough cough (mumbling) shoo shoo, get out of my head cough cough so, how's your coffee?"  
  
S: "Mulder, guy in a dragon suit."  
  
M: "No suit, Scully. Just dragon."  
  
S: (sighing) "Mulder remember the time you went to Disney land and shot a guy in a Mickey mouse suit because you thought he was carrying a genetically engineered extraterrestrial virus?"  
  
M: "His eyes were black, Scully, black-"  
  
S: "And the time you shot Barney because you thought he was a purple people eater and had come to eat all those little children with sweet and sour sauce from KFC?"  
  
M: "You must admit he's frightening, Scully-"  
  
S: "Or the time you blew up KFC."  
  
M: "But the kernel had-"  
  
S: "And the time you fell down in the park and cried."  
  
M: (lowering his voice) "Scully, I thought we agreed not to talk about that-"  
  
This time he is interrupted by Drake.  
  
D: "Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing, are you two by any chance FBI agents?"  
  
S: "Yes we are." (Turns back to Mulder who is sucking his thumb and looking angrily over at Scully) "I-hey!" (Turns back to Drake) "How did you know we're FBI?"  
  
D: "Well, I'm actually a figment of your imagination. I'm in your head."  
  
S: "Then how come Mulder can see you?"  
  
D: "He can't. He didn't say he could. You imagined he did."  
  
S: "Why would I imagine that?"  
  
D: (caught off guard) "Uh... What?  
  
S: "Why would I imagine that... It just seems like a weird thing to imagine."  
  
D: "You are weird."  
  
S: (stunned) "I am?"  
  
D: "You are."  
  
S: "Oh. I suppose I am. Well, I better go and wake up from this weird dream."  
  
Exits  
  
M: (Calling after her) "Scully? Hey! Scully!"  
  
D: "Scully doesn't exist."  
  
M: (looking embarrassed) "Oh. Okay. Sorry." (Goes back to drinking his iced tea) "Funny. I could've sworn there was some red head here a minute ago."  
  
D: "That was Pipi Long Stockings."  
  
M: "Oh. Of course."  
  
D: "um, that's it? You just accept that? You believe me?"  
  
M: (respectfully) "Yes, Sir."  
  
D: (confused) "But you just spoke to her... Scully that is."  
  
M: "No, I was talking to Pipi long Stockings, PAY ATTENTION!"  
  
D: "But you called her Scully."  
  
M: "I called her what? What's a Scully?"  
  
D: (sighs)  
  
And with that, Drake decided he needed a new victim, because this one was very obviously already totally insane.  
  
THE END 


End file.
